Why blog? Why now?

I have toyed a long time with blogging but have just never taken the time to sit down and do something about it. After years on the emotional weight roller coaster, I got fed up with just feeling gross about myself and pretending that I was happy feeling sluggish. I was quietly envying the body parts of other women and applying them to my mental "my-body-would-be-perfect-if...." mannequin. Then, my husband posted some pictures on Facebook from our recent 4th of July vacation, and one picture just threw me for a loop:

Look at me. Don't I just look like I am lumbering, not walking, down that path? Now look at the woman behind me on her bike. She looks like she is healthy, confident, and is having fun in life. I got all of that out of one snapshot of her riding a bike on a beautiful summer day. Did I apply some assumptions to the woman on the bike? Perhaps. But it got me off my a** and motivated me to change the way I look at myself in future pictures. Whatever works, right?

So I came back home post-vacation and made some immediate changes.
1. I joined Weight Watchers. I have been a member off and on for several years. Before I had my son 9 years ago I lost about 40 pounds. It wasn't my goal weight but I felt really good about myself. Two years after I had my son I went back to WW and got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. It's been 3 years since I had my daughter, and for some reason it's taken me longer to get the motivation to stick with the WW plan. This is my third try in a year and a half and I seem to lose my willpower after the first month. I am determined to stick with it this time because I know it works if I work IT.

2. I got moving. I started to get out of bed before everyone else and walk. It was really hard at first (and still is on some days) to leave the comfort of my warm bed and my husband snuggled up against me. But I have found if I trick my brain into thinking that I am just getting up to pee, after about 3 minutes the old brain says "well, you're up anyway so you might as well go walk". Some days I can't wait to get out of bed, and some days it's a small victory just to get my feet off the bed and onto the floor. One day at a time.

3. I drink more water. I used to walk around with my tongue feeling all dried out. Gross. Funny how water can be a simple fix to that. I make sure that I drink at least six 8-ounce glasses a day, if not more. I sometimes (okay, every day) treat myself to diet root beer because I love, love, love root beer.

4. I eat breakfast every morning. I used to run on empty until lunch and then jump at the chance to stuff my starving face with anything I could get my hands on. At the end of the day I would feel gross and unhappy. Now I make sure to eat in the morning. On the weekdays I make something that I can eat in the car while driving the kids to school and me to work. And I also take a vitamin every morning too. All those people who say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day are apparently right. It gets me in the right mindset for the rest of the day.

5. I plan meals ahead. Whether it is taking lunch and snacks to work or planning dinners for the entire week, I try and look through cookbooks (big shout out to Hungry Girl, love love love her), magazines, and ask friends for meal suggestions. Planning ahead makes the rest of the day easier because I know how I need to eat throughout the day, plus I feel less stressed after work trying to brainstorm last minute dinner ideas.

Five things. That is what I have done. Five things that look simple on the outside, but can sometimes be big hurdles on the inside of my brain.

Why blog? It feels cathartic and I want to keep myself accountable. I want to acknowledge small victories, big successes, and share challenges that keep me from getting to "F---ing Perfect" in my brain and with my body. I hope to look back on posts and feel proud of how far I have come, or for just putting my feet on the floor in the morning.

Why now? Maybe because it is more of a technological reality than it was many years ago when I started a weight loss journey. Maybe because I have been inspired and motivated by others who blog and want to hopefully do the same for someone else. Maybe because I have seen that a blog does not have to be a novella filled with sage advice, but can be some short sentences of witty observations that make you laugh - this seems much less intimidating. But the real answer I'm landing on is WHY NOT?

Why the blog title? I walk to Pink's Greatest Hits (So Far) and am inspired by the song "F**kin' Perfect". Sometimes I scream it at the top of my lungs, and sometimes I can't sing because I am crying from the way the song speaks to me. One of these days I may write to Pink and thank her for making a f**kin' perfect song.

Congratulations to me on my very first blog. What are you congratulating yourself for today?